Give yourself permission to recharge your batteries!

Posted on July 28, 2016 by christinelewicki

Summer or not, many of us don’t get to go on a long vacation… but we can take time for a getaway and even make a habit of it!

Brownies

In his book, The Charge,* Brendon Burchard talks about, among other things, the importance of seeking challenges that will help you live life to its fullest.

It will come as no surprise that I am an advocate of many topics in his book. Following my 21 days “I Quit Complaining Challenge” (in French “J’arrête de râler”), I decided to undertake other challenges, such as 21 days of drinking vegetable juice for breakfast, 21 days in dresses, 21 days to celebrate, 21 days without media, 21 days of sit-ups…

One of the challenges in Burchard’s book that grabbed my attention is the “90 days getaway challenge”. This challenge consists of planning a getaway alone, or as a couple, every 90 days to recharge our batteries and reconnect with ourselves. There’s no need anymore to wait for official “vacation”! Whoohoo!

When I read about this idea my heart started to sing!!! Take a getaway every 90 days to recharge your batteries. (Your cousin’s wedding across the country doesn’t count as a getaway.) A getaway for a day, a weekend, or a week (without the kids), to disconnect from daily life, without any phone or emails… just taking a little time for ourselves!

Take a little time to try something new and different. For instance, discover a new city, dive into a new book, start a new activity, participate in a program to reconnect with yourself (a spiritual retreat, some coaching, or the Wake Up! seminar!)

It’s your turn:

What would you do if you could take off for a day, or a few days alone or with your spouse, to recharge your batteries? Make a list of all the things that would do you good, bring you serenity and help your growth. (Be careful not to censure yourself, make a list of everything that makes YOUR heart sing!)
Take a look at your calendar and schedule dates for your 4 upcoming getaways in the next 12 months (one every 3 months). Have fun with it! Dream!
Take time to plan with your spouse the logistics of your getaway (budget, childcare) to make this project a reality. If need be, start a special “getaway piggy bank” to help finance your projects.

Happy getaways!

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to helping people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

Everyday new opportunities arise!

Posted on April 11, 2016 by christinelewicki

My “ordinary” life becomes extra{ordinary} when I recognize that I have talents and choose to activate them!

Every day life... (1)

6 steps to communicate so that you can be heard

Posted on March 3, 2016 by christinelewicki

A few months ago I wrote an article titled: Learning to express our needs and frustrations differently.part 1 and part 2

Today I want to share with you a visual that I have created to remind myself of this process. I printed it, taped it to my fridge and I am using it every day.

Because sometimes we do have something to say to the people around us. We do need them to help us meet our needs. But it’s not always easy to communicate. The more important the need is, the more chances we have to slip into our blaming and complaining habit and let’s face it it’s exhausting to complain and not feel heard.

6 steps canva

Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to helping people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

I am not a victim!

Posted on February 4, 2016 by christinelewicki

We are the victim when it comes to our boss, our job (or our lack of employment), the political crisis, our spouse, our family… you’ll notice that we often talk about ourselves as victims. We expend a lot of energy pointing out it’s not our fault – it’s the other person’s fault (our spouse, our children, our boss, our colleague, the President, the administration, service providers) we are in this mess!

I found out for myself that I had managed to develop a talent for pointing the finger at the culprits in my life. In a way, it’s fun to be a victim because if the others are wrong then I am necessarily right. If the other person is guilty then it is up to him to find a solution to the problem, not me. But in the end, what this means (annoyingly enough) is that if the blame is squarely on the other person, I am powerless to do anything.

I have the power to choose to not be a victim! (2)

It is true that it is often easier to be a victim than someone who acts, but when I decide that I am the victim I no longer have the power to take control of my life. In the end, it’s me who suffers the real consequences. Wouldn’t you agree?

When I cast myself as a victim I choose to give my power to the person who is supposedly “guilty.” By pointing the finger I make them the master of my destiny. I realized one day that I was able to refuse to function this way and I have no doubt that you can as well.

We talk to our friends, our relatives, our colleagues, about our lives because we need to interact and share our problems and, yes, that is an inherent part of love and friendship, as are compassion and support… All that is good. I am not saying that we cannot discuss our problems and share our suffering, far from it. But we have the power to REFUSE to cast ourselves as victims of anything, or anyone.

This is one of the biggest revelations of my life, that I was casting myself as a victim and I could easily choose not to.

I think it’s amazing to realize that we have that choice!

By looking at how we talk about ourselves and our problems, we have the choice to either give our power to the so-called culprits… Or not.

Imagine, if you are a no longer a victim, if others are not guilty… Then anything is possible! No?

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to helping people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.comand visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

Today is not just another day !

Posted on January 11, 2016 by christinelewicki

Today is not just another day… This day has been given to you. It’s a gift!

Open your eyes and look at the sky, at the face of people around you. Open your heart and see the beauty that is surrounding you.

Gratitude: The Short Film by Louie Schwartzberg from ecodads on Vimeo.

We are so good at complaining about all those times when life (and others) don’t meet our expectations. As 2016 is just starting, how about letting go of our resistance to enjoy our “not always very sexy lives”?

How about learning to embrace this life as it is. Simply beautiful and perfect (despite all its imperfections!).

New year… New intention!

Posted on January 6, 2016 by christinelewicki

For some time now, I have been in the habit of adopting a keyword at the beginning of each year. This keyword is for me like an arrow aimed at life. It is an intention, a direction, a color, a flavor I want to bring to the heart of my daily life, my thoughts, my decisions and my actions.

Fêtes

During the year I chose the keyword “Epic”, that daily affirmation gave me the courage to overcome my biggest fear, getting on the stage of TEDx. This is also the year when I dared to lead my first seminar, WAKE UP, in France and the year I tried to get out of the water on a wake board (and succeeded). This is a year where I chose to put myself in personally challenging situations to have a little more fun (actually a lot more fun!) with life.

When I chose the keyword “Dance” I started to give myself permission to go dancing more often. I embraced dance not only as an occasional weekend activity but as an appointment that I made with myself during the week – often during my office hours! That year I chose to train for my NIA white belt on a ranch in Texas. This is the year when I realized that dance for me was not something frivolous – it is a connection with my body, my heart, my soul. I understood that to continue to create and generate great ideas, it is vital that I spend a few hours regularly barefoot twirling on the floor.

Finally, 2015 the year “Impact” was the year I focused on structuring my activities to better serve humanity. I translated “J’arrête de râler” (“I Quit Complaining”) into English and I managed to get a contract with an American literary agent. This is also the year when I decided to surround myself with a new, brilliant and efficient team who can anticipate my needs and allow me to focus on what I do best – sharing my message, writing, speaking, and giving clarity and support to my coaching clients.

In 2016, I want to put the word CONTRIBUTION at the heart of my intentions and ambitions, and with that word the fundamental question that I invite you to explore:

What is the contribution I wish to bring to humanity?

Personally, in 2016, I want to commit myself 100% to helping people who want to activate their brilliance and contribute their lives in service to their community (Even the smallest contribution we make impacts society at large). I want to help those who wish to align their lives with their deepest desires and what they can bring to others. I want to empower all those who wish to transform their work into a life mission. I will be 100% committed to helping them awaken their purpose and activate their talent. It is this desire for a contribution that made me decide to launch the first WAKE UP forum, which will take place on March 18-20, 2016 in Lyon (France). A FORUM of exchange and interaction open to larger numbers of people, so that together we can reflect on the four fundamentals principles that prevent us from living life half-asleep. A place where surrounded by people on the same path, everyone can focus on the direction they want for their life. A place of brilliance and ambition so we can quit complaining and become DARING entrepreneurs of our own lives, the actors of tomorrow’s world.

This intent, the keyword CONTRIBUTION becomes a reference for me, an axis, a statement on awakening that helps me stay on the path I have chosen to follow. It helps me to stay connected with my inner strength, particularly when I meet obstacles in everyday life. (And who doesn’t?) It is not intended to replace your New Year’s resolution and can even give it more impact.

And you, what is the arrow that you wish to aim at life? What is the first word that comes to your mind?

What is the intent that lies in your heart and will give a direction, flavor, bright color to your everyday life?

I Quit Complaining: A Tool for Reprogramming your Brain

Posted on June 26, 2015 by christinelewicki

By embarking on the “I Quit Complaining Challenge”, we are choosing to undergo a reprogramming work. To change our outlook on life and our daily life especially, we have to learn how to think and live things differently, and especially choose what and how we want to communicate with others.

We have to realize and understand that our words have a great impact on our lives and the people that surround us. Our words nourish our beliefs. By complaining all the time, we end up believing what we say : that people are stupid, that life is hard, that nobody is helping us, that our efforts are left unacknowledged or unrewarded, that we are exhausted, that we are burned out… and finally our complaints impact our actions and in the end our very life. Our words, whether we like it or not, are to be taken very seriously because our reality is created by our words and our world is made up of words.

Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny. – Mahatma Gandhi

It is crucial to «reprogram» the way we choose to communicate with life, with the world, with others, with ourselves. By modifying our language and communication reflexes, we will little by little modify our thoughts and feelings, anchored deep down in our belief system for many years.

The challenge I Quit Complaining and Bitching Challenge, allows us to do this work. Even if at the beginning the challenge seems impossible, you will realize that by freeing yourself from this bad habit of complaining, which is real pollution, you will reeducate yourself and your way of thinking. Complaining creates ways of thinking and reacting that our brain uses over and over again and this becomes our dominant reaction excluding any other possible alternative.

Be aware that you may need at least 10 different attempts to start to learn a new response mode. This is the benefit of this challenge which allows you to “practice” , “learn” and “reeducate” your way of thinking to create new connections in your brain.

Progressively, the automatic reflex or habit of complaining will dissipate until it disappears completely. Later, you will not need to spend a lot of energy to avoid complaining, because your mind will have deeply recorded this new way of being and thinking. Your “complaint muscle” will be weakened and your “happiness muscle” will be strong and powerful. What may start off as an impossible challenge, will become like second nature.

* K. Ferlic, Habit of your mind : a releasing your unlimited creativity discussion topic, RYUC, 2008.

Are you ready to join me on July 1st for the Global 21 Day Challenge to Quit Complaining? Click here to join the Facebook event and invite your friends!

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

ARE WE SCARED OF BEING “DIFFERENT” BY BEING HAPPY?

Posted on May 6, 2015 by christinelewicki

Have you ever noticed that often times we complain to relate with others and talk about our misfortunes? We build friendships on our common misery; we come together around our “stories”. This rings even more true at work or in public places. Complaining is also something we use all day long to break the uncomfortable silence when surrounded by people we don’t know very well. Think about all the small talks about the weather – it’s always too hot, too windy or too cold! -, in the elevator, or even about how trains or planes are always late.

Because I work as a coach and do a lot of research on personal development, I have proof everyday that the way we choose to experience certain situation creates our reality. In fact, although we cannot always choose what happens to us, we can always choose how we want to deal with it. Our reaction will impact our day and ultimately our lives.

At any moment, we have the choice to live our life the way we want to, no matter what happens. Pain, failures, problems, difficulties…We can decide to consider ourselves as a powerless victim or we can’t decide that we won’t be a victim of anything or anyone We can choose to be overwhelmed or we can take our happiness in our own hands while celebrating what life gives us.

Very often, however, I notice that we are uncomfortable when it comes time to choose happiness. That’s because we are surrounded by people who prefer complaining, whining, and victimizing themselves. There is a complaint culture going on, and to choose happiness is to be “different”.

“There is no shame in choosing happiness.” – Albert Camus, The Plague Vintage (May 7, 1991)

This culture pushes us to complain to relieve our frustrations. We don’t really ask any questions, we just follow the trend, doing like everyone else and complaining about everyone else. For me, this challenge truly evidenced how we tend to feel secure when we come together with others about our problems. We are so used to complaining together that we think that doing otherwise would exclude us.

Fitting in is reassuring, we know what to expect when we complain: we expect to receive compassion from the other person, or perhaps he or she will chime in and feed our suffering.

In addition, a conversation filled with complaining is very surface, it allows us to hide, it is not threatening to others as we are not inviting them to join a conversation in a deep or elevated manner. We lightly talk about negative things without taking any risks. Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to discuss something we are against rather than something we are for?

Sometimes, in our little daily chats, we complain because we feel that if we talk about what’s going our way, if we celebrate, our happiness will be stolen or others will look at us funny and be jealous. So, we decide to spend our energy on what’s hard, what’s not going very well. At the end of day, we create complaining “feasts”. We focus our attention on our problems and thus attracting more unwanted things in our life.

Try it yourself, start your day with a little complaining and you’ll quickly realize that you’ll have all the excuses in the world to complain all day long.

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker, and Certified Coach. She is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

Quit Complaining: A Step Towards More Happiness in 2015!

Posted on January 2, 2015 by christinelewicki

This is a very popular article originally published in FemininBio about my “I Quit Complaining Challenge” and translated here for the blog. A good New Year’s resolution to make for 2015, don’t you think?

“If you think you are too small to change anything, try sleeping with a mosquito in your room” Old African proverb

To complain is to spread negative energy and negative energy cannot create positive results. Therefore, when you go from complaining to celebrating you eliminate from your life all these moments of tension, stress and anxiety. You can go from living a heavy existence to a more open and lighter way of living.

This idea connects with a blog post in which I wrote that life is like a garden that needs to be cultivated. If you plant carrot seeds in your garden, you will harvest carrots. Don’t expect to harvest strawberries.

When you complain you are really planting seeds of frustrations, negativity, judgement, and victimization. You cant expect to possibly harvest serenity, happiness, respect and success in your life.

This will require a certain inner discipline, we can transform our attitude, our beliefs and attitudes in life […] Start by isolating the factors that lead to suffering. Then you can start eliminating the suffering factors and cultivating those that lead to happiness. The Way of the Dalaï-Lama, Art of happiness (Robert Laffont, 1999).

Let me give you a concrete example how this challenge changed my life. Let’s rewind and revisit the very end of my challenge. After two months of trying not to complain for 21 consecutive days, I had just crossed the 17 day milestone without complaining. I was visiting my parents and family for the wedding of my cousin.

We were having lunch in nature near a river and my heart was over spilling with joy. I felt open as if I was going to explode from joy. I was savoring each instant even though the day had not been such an easy one. With the challenge, I was in the habit of cultivating seeds of happiness rather than water and tend to negativity and holding on to frustrations.

Thanks to the challenge that day I chose to overlook the fact that my hotel room reservation didn’t correspond to the reservation I had made, that it had great pictures on the website but in reality was in fact overlooking the parking lot in a commercial zone, that I had spent hours in a traffic jam, that I missed my husband after few weeks away, that I was feeling tired following a very intense week of work. I preferred to savor the present moment and enjoy this beautiful day. I was overflowing with joy. For an instant, I even felt vulnerable as this unusual feeling was so strong. I heard my little voice telling me: “Do you really deserve this happiness? Will something occur to ruin it”

I was so happy in the moment. This was a day I had lived fully 100% connected to the moment. The challenge had showed me that this kind of happiness was possible and accessible if I allowed it. I had been able to create a powerful connection in my brain which allowed me to live my life with new found happiness and a profound delicious intensity.

Imagine the impact that this challenge could have on society at large? Remember that our words have a powerful effect on our lives. If every one on earth used the right and proper words, our reality would be completely different. Can you imagine if we could make abstraction of our all our little woes? If we could experience life as a gift offered to us. If we could take charge of our own life, do everything we can to change what we don’t like or change our attitude if we are unable to change anything?

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” Maya Angelou

This challenge can lead us to define what we want, to invest in improving our lives, rather than just complaining. By putting our attention and energy to create a pleasant life, rather than focusing on what we don’t like, we can:

Go from ” being against the mess in the house” to “put something in action to allow more order”

Go from complaining about poor public transportation or traffic to giving ourselves the means to regain serenity ( bring a book, download a show we love and bring our earphones, buy smartphones to get work done, buy a scooter, or change work… )

Go from being a victim to an actor in our own life

Go from accumulating little sufferings to living a full and happy life

Imagine what would happen around the world if we would put all out our attention on the solutions rather than the problems?

Many people tell me my book is important especially for the French who are world renowned complainers. But in the end, I think that what ‘s more important is not knowing if the French complain more or less than other people but if complaining suits us as a nation at all. What could our country create if we would just quit complaining?

It may be a utopian view to believe that a whole country would quit complaining, but it is an utopia I personally like.

“Not a map of the world is worth a look if the land of utopia doesn’t exist.” Oscar Wilde, The Human Soul and Socialism

“J’arrête de râler” aka I Quit Complaining!

Love and Respect,

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

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My “ordinary” life becomes extra{ordinary} when I recognize that I have talents and choose to activate them!

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