Give yourself permission to recharge your batteries!

Summer or not, many of us don’t get to go on a long vacation… but we can take time for a getaway and even make a habit of it!

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In his book, The Charge,* Brendon Burchard talks about, among other things, the importance of seeking challenges that will help you live life to its fullest.

It will come as no surprise that I am an advocate of many topics in his book. Following my 21 days “I Quit Complaining Challenge” (in French “J’arrête de râler”), I decided to undertake other challenges, such as 21 days of drinking vegetable juice for breakfast, 21 days in dresses, 21 days to celebrate, 21 days without media, 21 days of sit-ups…

One of the challenges in Burchard’s book that grabbed my attention is the  “90 days getaway challenge”. This challenge consists of planning a getaway alone, or as a couple, every 90 days to recharge our batteries and reconnect with ourselves. There’s no need anymore to wait for official “vacation”! Whoohoo!

When I read about this idea my heart started to sing!!! Take a getaway every 90 days to recharge your batteries. (Your cousin’s wedding across the country doesn’t count as a getaway.) A getaway for a day, a weekend, or a week (without the kids), to disconnect from daily life, without any phone or emails… just taking a little time for ourselves!

Take a little time to try something new and different. For instance, discover a new city, dive into a new book, start a new activity, participate in a program to reconnect with yourself (a spiritual retreat, some coaching, or the  Wake Up! seminar!)

It’s your turn:

  • What would you do if you could take off for a day, or a few days alone or with your spouse, to recharge your batteries? Make a list of all the things that would do you good, bring you serenity and help your growth. (Be careful not to censure yourself, make a list of everything that makes YOUR heart sing!)
  • Take a look at your calendar and schedule dates for your 4 upcoming getaways in the next 12 months (one every 3 months). Have fun with it! Dream!
  • Take time to plan with your spouse the logistics of your getaway (budget, childcare) to make this project a reality. If need be, start a special “getaway piggy bank” to help finance your projects.

Happy getaways!

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

©2016

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to helping people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

The power of Habit!

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“Hundreds of habits influence our days—they guide how we get dressed in the morning, talk to our kids, and fall asleep at night; they impact what we eat for lunch, how we do business, and whether we exercise or have a beer after work. Each of them has a different cue and offers a unique reward. Some are simple and others are complex, drawing upon emotional triggers and offering subtle neurochemical prizes. But every habit, no matter its complexity, is malleable. The most severely addicted alcoholics can become sober. The most dysfunctional companies can transform themselves. A high school dropout can become a successful manager. However, to modify a habit, you must decide to change it. You must consciously accept the hard work of identifying the cues and rewards that drive the habit’s routines, then find alternatives and support. You must know you have control and be self-conscious enough to use it—and every chapter in this book is devoted to illustrating a different aspect of why that control is real.”

—Charles Duhigg from The Power of Habit

When I decided to start my 21 Day Challenge to Quit Complaining I did it because I realized that I was constantly “resisting” my days.  I was not conscious of this dynamic because the resistance was mild but it was always there and it showed up in those complaints. I would come home and complain about the mess in my house, the dirty dishes in the sink, about other cars on the road (bad driving is like bad breath, you notice it only when it is someone else’s!) I was complaining about my emails or about my Internet provider – all day long without being aware of it, I was resisting. It was a habit!

I did not want to realize on my deathbed that I had spent my entire life resisting it. I wanted to savor this life – with the messy house, with the demanding kids, with the emails… I wanted to create a new relationship with my (not always very sexy) life.

I undertook a challenge because I wanted to set myself free from this habit.  I knew that having the “intention” to embrace my everyday frustrations with a positive attitude was not going to be enough; I knew that the next day I was going to get caught up in the spiral of daily routines and that I was simply going to forget my good intention.

I wanted to train my brain and create new habits, habits that would set me free from falling into “victim mode,” habits that would allow me to be more present and more responsible in my life.

Can you identify negative habits that get in the way of fully enjoying your life?

If complaining is one of them, I invite you to start the challenge today!

You can read in more detail about the beginning of my journey with the challenge here. The challenge may take you 21 days or even a year, but I guarantee it will change your life!

©2016

Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to helping people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com . visit her Instagram page and  her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

 

The Art of Complaining… without Complaining

A survey taken near 6,000 people by scientists in psychology from the German University of Lena would tend to demonstrate that complaining is good for your health and  your life span according to an article in the French newspaper Parisien.

The survey also concludes that to bottle-up your emotions could lead to cardiac acceleration which could increase the risks of hypertension or health problems in the long run.  Apparently, we all agree that containing our frustrations inside would be far more dangerous than to express them. The article then ponders if complaining “which is considered like a  French national sport” has become the norm. The article forewarns us that the act of complaining must respect certain rules…”

The method shared in J’arrête de râler! aka “I Quit Complaining” (over 300 000 copies sold) invites us to give ourselves the means to take care of our needs. Many readers have testified to tell us how this challenge had allowed them to really get a handle on their negative complaining and their lives. We are far from the idea of not expressing our frustrations which could lead to depression.

IQC communicateThe challenge makes us take a real look at our complaints so we can become aware of them, take charge and not suffer from them.  We seek to understand why we complain and to express our frustrations without complaining.

Why, you may ask, without complaining?  Because we learned and found out that complaining, although it expresses our need, is really not very good strategy to obtain what we really want in the long run. If complaining really worked, then we would have no other reason to complain since all our needs would be met. Often complaining doesn’t provide lasting real change and we find ourselves again complaining about something else or the same thing over and over again. We cultivate and get stuck in a spiral of frustration that drains and pollutes our life.

TO QUIT COMPLAINING DOESN’T MEAN BOTTLING-UP OUR EMOTIONS 

It really is an art to know how to express ourselves without complaining!

Life will bring us trials and difficulties. People will upset us and prevent us from doing what we’d like to do. And it’s frankly aggravating, but true… However, we cannot accept everything. We cannot allow others to walk all  over us and  treat us like doormats. It’s important to be able to express what we don’t like and what doesn’t suit us. If we keep our feelings bottled in we risk exploding in what I call the ” pressure cooker” effect where our only outlet and alternative is to complain and vent out our frustrations too often contained.

The I Quit Complaining Challenge invites us to express our emotions more appropriately with less aggression. We learn to ask others what we need with force and determination without any drama.  We realize then that we greatly increase our chances to be heard and our needs to be really taken in consideration .

TO QUIT COMPLAINING IS A CHOICE AND A WAY OF LIFE  

Serenity is a choice that we can make today, whatever our circumstances. We can choose to experience our frustrations differently and realize that complaining is a habit deeply anchored in us ( just like smoking) which cannot disappear overnight.  During 21 consecutive days we learn to change our outlook on our daily life, we learn to delve into our resources so we no longer suffer the problems of life and so that we can better savor all the hidden treasures.

To quit complaining is of course, choosing to see life in a positive light and it’s an important lesson… however seeing “life through  rose-colored glasses” is not enough. To quit complaining is really about putting an end to acting like a victim of everything and everyone. We stop pointing the finger at the guilty people in our life and we devote our resources and energy to become actors and co-creators  of solutions.

When we quit complaining, we eliminate a big layer of pollution in our life  so that we can finally take advance of the blue sky.  We spend our energy on what propels us forward and we can have enjoy the freedom to take advantage of what life has to offer us.

4 TIPS TO EXPRESS OUR EMOTIONS AND GET WHAT WE WANT: 

1. Identify the real need hiding under the emotion. For example: am I complaining because I asked my child several times to empty the dishwasher, or am I really complaining because I feel the whole housekeeping logistics is on my shoulders and this is not working for me?

2. Use the rights words and resist the tendency to exaggerate. Example: often when we complain we are so afraid that we won’t be heard that we exaggerate and amplify. We transform the problem in a drama, we say :” I asked you 100 times to do this or that” or “It’s always the same thing” , “It’s killing me!”

3. Express our frustration without the need to make the other guilty is an art to establish our limits and make our demands without accusing the other. Example: instead of saying ” You never  help me ! “, I can say ” I feel like I am speaking in a vacuum and that every thing lies on my shoulders and I don’t like it. I don’t want to be in this position. I need your help.” Of course this takes more self-control, but I can guarantee that it’s much more effective to obtain what we want and need.

4. Accept that we cannot force others to do what we want when we want (really ? )  It is exhausting to try to coerce others to do certain things. It is much more effective to try and negotiate with them. Be aware that everyone must be in agreement and be weary of so-called agreements which are in fact disguised obligations. You need to remain firm on the fact that you need their cooperation so that your needs are met, but also remain open to your needs being met differently than originally planned.

It’s not an easy process and this is why I often intervene and speak on this subject and train in people in business and why we also have in place workshops to accompany those who want to follow this path for their business or their families.

What lessons have you learned with your I quit complaining challenge?

Love and Respect,

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Christine Lewicki

© 2015

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

Say YES to Life!

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When we position ourselves as a victim and complain about what others or things are making us go through and endure…we are  really rejecting what life has to offer. The quote that follows illustrates and  expands on this idea from Frédéric Lenoir, French author of “Petit traité de vie intérieure” “Little Inner Life Treaty “(Plon edition).

“By merely acquiescing to Life, it provides a feeling of gratitude which in itself is a great source of happiness, and allows us to fully embrace the positive and to transform the negative as much as possible. Saying ” yes” is an inner attitude that opens us to life’s motion,  its unpredictability , its unexpected and  surprises.”

Say “YES” to Life!

 

Love and Respect,

christine-signature

Christine Lewicki

© 2014

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit”  on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

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