Katie Byron, in her process of inquiry called The Work (www.thework.com), demonstrates that a thought is harmless unless we believe it. This is why she invites us to question ourselves in order to distance ourselves from what we think is “true”.

Doing this, we liberate ourselves from our resistance, we stop to mentally oppose ourselves to what is happening, thus we can better accept it and focus on finding a solution whether we are faced with an accident, loss of employment, a problem on the road, being late, health problems…

It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering” says Byron. When we allow ourselves to complain, we let our negative thoughts become real. Through our complaints, they enter our conversations, our relationships, our daily life…and little by little they become our life, our identity. We end up believing them!

letting go

It is important, to successfully complete this 21 days challenge to Quit Complaining, to distance ourselves from our complaints and not let them invade our being. We have to learn to let go, to question their appropriateness. However, I can assure you that we aren’t trying to suppress them. I am very well aware that it is practically impossible to prevent them from manifesting themselves in us and this isn’t the topic of this blog.

Our brain is a very active organ that thinks, thinks, thinks all day long. Our thoughts come and go without us being aware of it. They manifest themselves in our brain a thousand at a time and we can’t prevent them from doing so. Some are positive, some are negative. And at the end, this isn’t really important because they don’t hurt us. This is why in this challenge, complaining in your head doesn’t count. We just let the complain go by and keep going about our business.

The problem is when we start getting attached to our thoughts, to give them meaning and to express them through complaints. From that point on, we are embedding negative thoughts in our life. We anchor them. This challenge, however, invites us to find a healthy space to fully live our negative thoughts and get rid of them.

After that, the important thing is to learn how to let our negative thoughts come and go without disrupting our life and becoming attached to our frustration!

The idea here is not to deny our emotions. In the contrary, it is important to allow ourselves to feel our emotions. But after that it is necessary to let go, to not get attached to our negative thoughts, to not cling on to them or give them life through our conversations…by complaining!

It is true that sometimes we really have a way of rehashing the same worries. Our brain then works like a scratched record. It repeats and repeats and repeats itself almost all day. It’s stuck on complaints mode.

To discharge your frustrations, you can write in a journal, play a sport, take a walk around the block, talk to a friend in a constructive manner or see a specialized doctor if you think you need professional help.

I wish you a great day !

Love and Respect,



Christine Lewicki

© 2015

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Certified Business Coach, Speaker, MasterMind Group Leader and Bestselling Author. She is committed to help people quit complaining and  become entrepreneurs of their lives ,  one {im}perfect action at a time. You can download your FREE I Quit Complaining Starter Kit  HERE”