How to take action and go change your life? Interview by David Laroche

How to take action (2)

Some time ago I was interviewed by David Laroche who is France’s youngest motivational speaker. David was in the US on a road trip to interview experts like Seth Godin, Mark Victor Hansen, and Brian Tracy to name a few. And he invited me to meet with him in Beverly Hills.

The main focus of our talk was “How to take action and go change your life?”

I was delighted to share with him my own experience and the biggest lessons I had to learn on my journey to transform my own life from ordinary to {extra} ordinary.

The topics addressed in this video are:

  • Everything is created twice, first as an idea and then as an action.
  • The only way to create perfection is through imperfect actions.
  • There is no luck in this game. In order to create a good life for myself, I had to keep taking action even in the face of financial and personal struggles.
  • Why nurturing our inspiration is a priority (not a frivolity).

I hope this video inspires you and I would be honored to read your comments on this page!

©2016

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to helping people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

The power of Habit!

The power of habit - blog (1)

“Hundreds of habits influence our days—they guide how we get dressed in the morning, talk to our kids, and fall asleep at night; they impact what we eat for lunch, how we do business, and whether we exercise or have a beer after work. Each of them has a different cue and offers a unique reward. Some are simple and others are complex, drawing upon emotional triggers and offering subtle neurochemical prizes. But every habit, no matter its complexity, is malleable. The most severely addicted alcoholics can become sober. The most dysfunctional companies can transform themselves. A high school dropout can become a successful manager. However, to modify a habit, you must decide to change it. You must consciously accept the hard work of identifying the cues and rewards that drive the habit’s routines, then find alternatives and support. You must know you have control and be self-conscious enough to use it—and every chapter in this book is devoted to illustrating a different aspect of why that control is real.”

—Charles Duhigg from The Power of Habit

When I decided to start my 21 Day Challenge to Quit Complaining I did it because I realized that I was constantly “resisting” my days.  I was not conscious of this dynamic because the resistance was mild but it was always there and it showed up in those complaints. I would come home and complain about the mess in my house, the dirty dishes in the sink, about other cars on the road (bad driving is like bad breath, you notice it only when it is someone else’s!) I was complaining about my emails or about my Internet provider – all day long without being aware of it, I was resisting. It was a habit!

I did not want to realize on my deathbed that I had spent my entire life resisting it. I wanted to savor this life – with the messy house, with the demanding kids, with the emails… I wanted to create a new relationship with my (not always very sexy) life.

I undertook a challenge because I wanted to set myself free from this habit.  I knew that having the “intention” to embrace my everyday frustrations with a positive attitude was not going to be enough; I knew that the next day I was going to get caught up in the spiral of daily routines and that I was simply going to forget my good intention.

I wanted to train my brain and create new habits, habits that would set me free from falling into “victim mode,” habits that would allow me to be more present and more responsible in my life.

Can you identify negative habits that get in the way of fully enjoying your life?

If complaining is one of them, I invite you to start the challenge today!

You can read in more detail about the beginning of my journey with the challenge here. The challenge may take you 21 days or even a year, but I guarantee it will change your life!

©2016

Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to helping people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com . visit her Instagram page and  her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

 

If I had seen my own book in a bookstore…..

I always saw myself as a pretty positive person.

If I had seen my own book in a bookstore, I would NOT have bought it, because I thought I was not a complainer….until the day I had a life altering revelation. Watch the video to find out more.

Love and Respect,

christine-signature

Christine Lewicki

© 2015

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE “I quit complaining” starter kit on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com and visit her Facebook page for inspirational articles and quotes to reveal the best version of yourself each day!

[Flashback ] The First Few Days of My 21 Day Challenge

My 21 days without complaining challenge really was paved with discoveries and realizations from the very beginning. During the first few days, I went through what I call the “bracelet dance”. From the left wrist to the right wrist, and so forth… All day long. I was very happy that I picked a stretchy bracelet (very practical)!

Then I became aware that if I wanted to stop having to start from day 1 every day, it was of the utmost importance that I start becoming aware of the situations that pushed me to complain and see if I could avoid them. This way, I clearly identified that the morning was my most dangerous moment of the day (followed closely by bed time) with three daughters, breakfast, packing lunches, three different schools and the clock that keeps on ticking…Danger was straight ahead!

Every morning, I found myself complaining, whining, feeling rushed, oppressed, trying to monitor my kids: “Get ready, eat your breakfast, how can you not know where your shoes are? Hurry, hurry, hurry!”

It really wasn’t a good way to start my day. In an ideal setting, I wanted mornings to be calm, a nice family moment to be at peace with my daughters before parting ways for school and work.

So I asked myself what I could do to avoid putting myself in these situations. It seemed to be the more efficient strategy to really stop complaining. If I eliminated the reason to complain, then the challenge would be easier! No more having to keep it to myself! With this in mind, I slowly implemented some changes:

# I asked my daughters to get their own school lunch ready the night before (not all schools have a cafeteria)

# I created a routine with them: they pick their outfits the night before (as for the shoes, we are still working on that!)

# I started to get my coffee machine ready the night before.

# I finally managed to get up earlier (which had seemed impossible).

This challenge quickly made me realize how important it is to be clear about what works for me and what doesn’t. So I gave myself the mission to avoid the situations I know will make me complain.

# If I’m still sitting at my desk at 6pm when it’s my turn to make dinner, I know that soon my kids will be asking to eat and that will stress me out – I can either stop working and make dinner or stay at work and assume my own choice later without complaining.

# If I have an important appointment, I leave 10 minutes earlier instead of trying to get “one more thing done” that will inevitably make me late.

To this day, this idea of avoiding situations that generate frustration or stress has become my priority and, each time I can see trouble heading my way in that sense, I get back on track as soon as possible. No more waiting to reach the deep end.

As a matter of fact, this challenge quickly demonstrated that the idea is not to take in everything with a smile, or to force ourselves to see life through rose-colored glasses. It is actually the opposite; it is a project to help us develop a new way of life. To live moments with more pleasure and, if it’s really not going well, assuming our part of responsibility and see what can be done to reorganize things or do them differently.

Those who attempt the challenge by adopting the “take it all in with a smile” approach cannot last for more than a few hours or a few days. And, in the end, they have not obtained the expected result of a happier, more serene and fuller life.

Love and Respect,

christine-signature

IMGP6017

Christine Lewicki

© 2015

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

 

F.A.Q – Quit Complaining 21 Day Challenge

IQC visual Chrisine Lewicki

Why 21 days?

According to scientists a new habit is created or takes place in 21 days and it so happens that complaining is very much a habit for many of us.

Why wear a bracelet?

The bracelet is a tool that allows us to become aware and simply reminds us about the challenge to better manage our progress on the path to a more serene life without complaining.

A few rules to follow:
1. Start by wearing a bracelet on the wrist of your choice

2. If you find yourself  complaining  simply change the bracelet to the other wrist and start all over

3. Don’t get discouraged and remain confident. It may take a few weeks or even months to reach your goal but in the end you’ll discover a new life filled with joy and love

How do I know if I am complaining?
Here are some of the definitions of complaining : “to complain is similar to whining – To produce a sustained, high pitched, plaintive sound as in pain, fear or complaint – To complain or protest in a childish or annoying fashion”.

Here are some of its synonyms: “to agonize, sulk, grumble, whine, enrage, be angry, grunt, growl, grumble, murmur, pester, protest, rage, claim, gripe, bitch…”

Obviously we sometimes have a real natural need to express our discontent, pain or suffering but the majority of people do it without awareness all day long! They spend their existence complaining and undergoing what they do not want to do. This suffering becomes their reality. Instead of complaining, let’s try to communicate and think about what we want by feeling grateful for what we already have.

How many times a day do people complain?
Between 15 to 30 times a day.

How long does it take to get through the challenge?

In general, people  who do it seriously will need between 4 to 10 months to be able to reach 21 consecutive days without complaining. It is not an easy challenge but it is worth it. You can read the testimonies in the THEY DID IT section!

If I complain in silence in my head, must I also change the bracelet on the other wrist?

When I started the challenge I tried not to complain in my head but it was impossible and unrealistic. I then discovered that this challenge would be attainable and beneficial If I changed the bracelet to the others wrist only when the complaints were uttered out of my mouth. By forcing myself to change the words that came out of my mouth, little by little the complaints  in my head slowly disappeared

What can I do for others around me to stop complaining?

Show the example. When you start to change YOUR own life by quitting complaining ( even if you are not a big complainer) you will become an example of positive living and a source of inspiration for the others around you. Furthermore, by not participating in the complaints around you, others will be less tempted to do so!

I wish you an eye-opening challenge and please let me know how you are doing!

Love & Respect,

Christine Lewicki

© 2015

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit” on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

IQC Visual

 

My “Not Always Very Sexy” Life.

today

What gave me the idea of embarking on this 21 days challenge to quit complaining was the realization that even though I am generally rather positive, I often found myself in frustrating or irritating situations where I would play the victim and…complained.

Many times, I realized that I would go to bed completely exhausted from everything that “happened to me” during the day. Under my so called“good life” I had the lingering impression of constantly fighting… to get the kids to school, get my work done, be on time, manage work and family and all the problems. Too often I went to bed feeling that I just had a terrible day.

Strangely enough, that “ terrible day” day was usually simply a “ normal” day of my life. . Nothing really bad happened. Actually, it was ordinary , like every day… It was what I like to call now my “ not always very sexy life”.

I wanted to learn to enjoy this daily life. I was sick and tired of telling myself that when my three kids would grow up (especially the young one), when my business would be successful, when I would have time for myself, when I would be on vacation, when my family could help me this summer, etc. In short, later, only later, would I be able to live better.

Why wait for tomorrow to finally be happy? It’s a shame after all, because isn’t daily life real life

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow doesn’t exist…Only today matters most”. I had heard this before, but it wasn’t until then that I decided to put those words into practice.

I am a “mom-preneur”1 and my days are filled with my business, my three kids attending  different schools and all their extracurricular activities (swimming, guitar, piano…), my volunteering activities, my life as a woman, wife and mom…and all of this at more than 6 000 miles from my family in a very fast-paced city!

That’s how one night I found myself in bed, my head on the pillow and eyes wide open, trying to find a way to lighten up my daily life and feel more satisfied right at this moment, no matter how chaotic my life seemed to be.

We all have happy and joyful moments in our lives. Weekends, vacations, birthdays, dinners with friends filled with laughter, dates, weddings, travels…We also have all these little moments like getting a massage, a moment to take care of ourselves. All these moments are times of happiness and fulfillment that break the routine. But we must also realize that these moments are relatively limited and unfortunately conditioned by an external context quite rare, if not exceptional.

So what about the rest of our life? Our daily life is much more ordinary, punctuated with different obligations…When I thought about it, I realized how sad it was to let life pass me by without trying to enjoy all these “normal” hours of my life as if they were something that “happened to me”.

I want happiness every day…because I know that one day or another, I won’t be here anymore. Each minute is like gold. My life is a gift, and I intend on living it at the fullest. I realized that what really got to me were all those moments spent complaining. Doing things while resisting them, getting irritated at the computer, complaining in the car, gossiping with the others, whining about the kids, wheezing and yes even sometimes “bitching” I was not doing anything “ wrong” or truly damaging but in the end it polluted my life and, let’s face it, didn’t get me anywhere.

I am the kind of person who always says how “beautiful life is”, so why complain? I wasn’t depressed, rather in good health, mostly happy and positive, happily married, in love with my kids, I had a great job…But still, no matter what the circumstances, I found a way to complain and to go bed frustrated, exhausted, drained…

Whether we are feeling happy or unhappy at any given moment often has very little to do with our absolute conditions but, rather it is a function of how we perceive our situation, how satisfied we are with what we have.” – The Dalai Lama

That’s when I told myself: and what if I just stopped complaining? Yes, I know, I wrote “just”, but I now realize after the challenge that it’s not as easy as it seems. The idea for me was to mostly choose between discussing happiness, read a bunch of books and attend seminars on the topic, or to actually start doing something different today to experience happiness. That’s how I decided to start; by not complaining at all for 21 days in a row! I was curious to see what would happen.

I’ve been living in the United States for ten years now, and this type of challenge is pretty common here, to stop smoking, to meditate, loose weight, be grateful2…so I told myself that there was no going back, I had to do it until the end for myself, my life, my family. I’ll delve deeper into the “why” of these 21 days in the third part of this book.

When I started my challenge, I had no idea of the actual amount of complaining I was doing (it was a shock!!!), or what I would gain from the experience. This blog is here to share with you what I have learned on this journey. I would love to start a conversation with you in the comment section below.

1 “Mom” and “entrepreneur”

2 The most common ones are found in Edwene Gaines’ The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity and Will Bowen’s A Complaint Free World.

Love and Respect,

christine-signature

Christine Lewicki

© 2015

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit”  on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

IQC Visual

Pick and Choose Your Battles!

Home sweet home

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.” Phyllis Diller

Have you noticed how as parents we can  sometimes become stuck in our principles? We want to do such a good job raising our children, we want our couple life to thrive and we have such a very precise idea of how things ” must “or “should” be in our home and in our  life.  We know what we need and we want everything to happen as we have planned it.

  • Our children must be polite
  • Their rooms must be clean and tidy and the clothes put away in their dressers
  • They must stay at the dinner table until the end of the meal
  • They have to help us empty the dishwasher and take out the trash
  • The house must be tidy
  • The socks cannot lie around on the floor
  • The toilet seat must be up (or down)
  • Our spouse has to help us put the kids to bed
  • We must make love at least 3 times a week
  • …/…. (  fill in  your own blanks )

We have such a preconceived notion of how our organized and happy  life is supposed to look like that we  often become  really stubborn and spend our time complaining because it’s not happening the way we want!  We are also  afraid to become too easy-going and that everything we get out of control if we do,  so to counter effect we try to control everything and our daily life becomes a succession of complaints.

After I did my 21 day challenge  to stop complaining (which took about 4 1/2 months) I was able to reevaluate and pick and choose my battles with my children and my spouse. I will leave you with this quote from anonymous author ( if you know who said it please let me know)

“Before,  I had principles… now.  I have children!” Unknown author

Does this speak to you ?

Love and Respect,

christine-signature

Christine Lewicki

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit”  on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

IQC Visual

Interview with Lilou Mace: I Quit Complaining and {Bitching!}

Throwback Thursday, I don’t think I shared this video with you yet… I had the pleasure to meet Lilou Mace in Los Angeles a little while back for an interview about my French bestseller “J’arrête de râler!” – I Quit Complaining!

The conversation was so juicy we decided to do a little segment in English for my US audience. Here it is!

Lilou Mace TV is a free webTV dedicated to awakening possibility, passion, and purpose in people all around the world. Since January 2011, Lilou has traveled the globe interviewing thousands of individuals throughout the U.S., Canada, Europe, Japan, Mexico, and Asia. To date, Lilou herself has posted over 3,000 videos on YouTube and received over 30 million videos views.

While the magical interviews delight, entertain, and inform, each contains a deeper message as well: a belief that within every human being is the power to unlock their unique genius and find fulfillment in whatever they do.

Lilou is also the author of 3 books: I Lost My Job and I Liked It (2009), I Had No Money and I Liked It (2011), I Have No Religion and I Like It (2015)

Enjoy, share & please leave your comments!

Love and Respect,

christine-signature

Christine Lewicki

© 2014

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit”  on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

IQC Visual

 

I Quit Complaining and {Bitching!} Introduction

This is how my “21 Day Challenge to Quit Complaining {and Bitching}!” started!

This journey gave birth to a French blog and a French Best-selling book called “J’arrête de râler!” (more than 150 000 copies sold) and today I am committing myself to share the lessons that I have learned along the way with you my English readers on this blog.

Follow the challenge and my journey and please share your own experiences on this blog and keep in touch on Facebook , too!

Love and Respect,

christine-signature

Christine Lewicki

© 2014

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit”  on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

IQC Visual

As I was laying in my bed…

Be the Change

[FLASHBACK] … As I was laying down in my bed one night a few years ago, feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and completely drained, it came to my awareness that I just had a very bad day !

Yet, I also realized at the same time that this supposedly” bad day” was a REGULAR day of my life.
Nothing  out of the ordinary or really bad had happened that day. No accident, everyone was healthy, no financial crisis, good internet connection!!!

I was a regular of my life, of my “not always very sexy” life !

A few months before that night, I attended a 3 days business convention and the host invited us to embrace the challenge of not complaining for 3 days so we could all have a great time. This idea was based on the 21 days challenge presented in Edwene Gaines’s Book  “The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity”. I loved it and on the way back my friend told me that if one day I wanted to do the entire 21 days I could wear a bracelet to keep track of my days.

Back to the night in my bed …I was able to point out that what had drained and wasted my day was all my complaining. I remember telling myself: “wait a minute… I chose to have 3 kids, I chose to become an Entrepreneur, I chose to move to the US…. why am I acting like a victim?
I want to enjoy my kids while they are little. I DO NOT WANT to waste this precious time any longer. I want to BE present to what my day has to offer. Even if it’s just a normal day with carpool, clients meeting, skipped lunch and some procrastinating.”

So I asked myself : “What would my life look like if I could stop complaining ?  Would I be more happy ? Would I be able to lay in my bed at night feeling peaceful and satisfied ?

So I thought “ok, I am going to do this ! 21 consecutive days without complaining because I really deeply want to change this”.

Little did I know what I was getting into !

For the story, I have to share with you that the very next day I woke up and though to myself: ” was I drunk last night ? it is really NOT a good time to stop complaining…. I have way too much on my plate right now…. I don’t want to add yet another commitment ! Forget it !”

So finally 4 months later, thanks to Gandhi I made the decision to get started. What made me decide to take the big jump ? I decided that it was time that I change my own attitude after I heard myself complaining about the people who complain ! I remembered Ghandi and the famous ” Be the Change you want to see in this world” and I decided that there was no more turning back.

The next day I opened up a blog I Stop Complaining! aka  J’arrête de râler!  in French, my native language) and posted a video of me stating the beginning of my challenge and my desire to use the blog to keep track of my progress and share my challenges and my learning. I posted the videos on Facebook for my few friends to see and before I knew it , my blog became viral in France. This was a brand new subject for them and they loved the idea of doing a challenge.
With hundreds of visitors on my blog (many confessed that they were visiting to see me fail), I received calls for radio interviews and found articles in the National press ( including Psychologies magazine).

The rest of the story is beyond my expectations, the blog gave birth to a book and since it’s release a few years back, it has become a huge  Best Seller in France ( more than 100 000 copies sold)  with articles everywhere and TV appearances. This month the paperback version came out!

I am opening this blog in English because I am in the US. I live here and a lot of people around me are begging me to have this book translated. They’ve heard about all the other  stop  complaining challenges or gratitude challenge but they want to hear my  personal journey, they want me to share my story as a mom, as an entrepreneur, as a busy ambitious woman. How did I do it when I woke up in the morning with three kids to take and get ready for school?

I am currently looking for US publisher who would be interested in getting my book translated in English. But until then I wanted to get started with this blog.
Enjoy your reading and feel free to share your comments.

Love and Respect,

christine-signature

Christine Lewicki

© 2011

Want to you use this article in your newsletter, blog, or on your website? You can, as long as you include the following blurb:

“Christine Lewicki is a Bestselling Author, Speaker & Coach. She is committed to help people quit complaining and become entrepreneurs of their lives. You can download your FREE ”I Quit Complaining Starter Kit”  on her blog www.iquitcomplaining.com

IQC Visual